Ohio Impromptu

For the most part, I agree with Twinflower, but I have some things to add. And the cracked window, too, kept the room cool and cold, even during the warm ...

wile the peasants stayed out side while* there almost here! *they're They were considered a bed omen to most I hope you mean a 'bad' omen Aside from those minor ...

Among some things that you could have done better in this piece, you did some things horribly right. Many people get lost in describing just what they can see, or ...

I must say, this is quite an interesting story. If you're telling the truth - that this actually happened, word for word - its one of the strangest stories I've ...

I suppose you have a good beginning to a story here, but the way it was written leaves a lot to be desired. Some of the descriptions - actions, people ...

Haha, very well done. Twelthe should be 'twelfth', but that's no matter. I couldn't resist, but I knew I couldn't really judge this until I sung it myself, and I ...

I'm quite sure I like this a lot, but I'm undecided on a few things. The constant use of the word 'word' ( :roll: ) is helpful in establishing what ...

That was nice. You crafted it perfectly so that we, as readers, can see that Amy is just in the narrators head, although you don't outright tell us until the ...

Overall, you have a solid prologue here. I actually quite enjoyed it. However, there were some things that are pretty insignificant, but need to be fixed anyway. Red is where ...

Splendid. You brought this faceless man to life - gave him a past, feelings, even to the point where we almost know him. I must admit that without the picture ...

I think the lack of exposition is fine, but just a tiny little bit more would do wonders for this piece. The nature of the meeting, I think, could use ...

I can honestly say that this is the best piece of writing I have read on this site in quite a while. You have created a character that, although he ...

Very nice. I know someone that's been through the exact same things as this, so its kinda weird for me. The only thing I can say is that when you ...

I'll tackle the prologue first. You spelled 'buried' wrong, but spelling isn't an issue here. Technically, there was nothing wrong with it - it just could have been so much ...

One day the world of poetry is going to assassinate you for being so darn good. I, on the other hand (no longer part of the world of poetry), think ...